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Problem of people living in big cities

Problem of people living in big cities

5.0
(1 votes)

136,317

01/23/2018

Topic: People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?

Nowadays, the majority of world population is living in urban areas. While many people associate city life with prosperity, urban dwellers actually have to experience various difficulties, including crime and environmental pollution. From my perspective, governments should use counter-urbanization as a measure to ease the aforementioned problems.

One of the common issues with living in a city is crime. For a violent crime to occur, there must be a culprit and a victim. In a highly populated area, the risk of encountering a mob is much higher than that of a small town. Additionally, if the culprit feels protected by the anonymity that a large city provides, he may commit more wrongdoings. Furthermore, air pollution is also a prevalent issue in major cities. Surface transportation is the main source of greenhouse gas emissions, which cause respiratory problems to the people. This problem is exacerbated by the sheer number of vehicles commuting daily in the city.

In my opinion, to tackle both the issues above, governments should promote the migration from urban areas to rural ones. As the population density of a metropolitan area is reduced, so do crimes and air pollution. However, city dwellers have their reasons to stay in urban places, such as to enjoy education and job opportunities. This is why governments need to step in because only they can introduce rural development policies. If countryside areas have better infrastructures, people will find less incentive to live in big cities.

In conclusion, crime and air pollution are two of the various problems of urban life. I believe that urban-to-rural migration, promoted by governments, is an appropriate solution for those issues.

(273 words)

(This model essay is written by Anh Tran - an administrator of Let’s Write Something.)

 

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Topic: People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?

 

This is a two-part question essay, formed by mixing a cause-solution essay and an opinion essay. Such a question type may appear frequently in the future.
 

Sample essay band 6.0:

 

Despite a facilitated lifestyle, the urban populas seems to deal with certain difficulties. This essay will discuss those associateted isseues, and whether or not the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for major cities.

Although, the people living in populated areas are able to avail lucrative oppurtunities in fields of education, employment and enterntainment somehow, there are some issues to be dealth with. First of all, the most nototrious is; traffic congestion, as the number of vehicles on roads is increasing, and there is no solution to it yet. Causing air and noise polution, the greatest drivers in manipulating human's mental and physical health. Another worth mentioning worry is, unemployment. As more and more people are leaving their hometowns in search of jobs; the city populas is swelling up day by day.   

As far as the government role is concerned, it seems that it could help lessen the problems faced by urban habitants. To illustrate, the authorities should start housing schemes in smaller towns to divert public attention towards smaller towns. Also, providing health and job facilities within one's hometown could persuade people to stay there more. In addition, factories and hospital buildings ahould be moved into remote areas to support rural living.

To conclude, infact people do fantasize about living in larger cities; to dwell among advanced living standards, but when after moving in they have to encounter certain problems. To tackle the situation, government should step in, and design solid schemes to stop urban crawl. It should initiate plans to ease urban inhabitants and inspire them to move into smaller settlements.

(Written by Nadia Syed)


Corrected Essay
 

Despite a facilitated comfortable lifestyle, the urban populas populace seems to deal with certain difficulties. This essay will discuss those associateted associated isseues issues, and whether or not the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for to major cities for citizens.

  • Facilitated” isn’t usually used as an adjective, especially when going with “lifestyle”. The correct collocation here is “comfortable lifestyle”.

  • There are many typographic errors in this essay, such as “associateted”. Generally, in the IELTS exam, one-time mistakes are considered as “slips”, and they will not hamper your final score too much (unless they occur very frequently).

  • However, repeated errors like “populas” are treated differently. There is no English word like that, only “popuplation”, or “populace”, with the former being much more prevalent. It looks the author is trying too hard to paraphrase the keyword “population”, without any success.

  • The phrase “the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for major cities” is ambiguous. It is not clear who should use smaller towns instead of using major cities (“citizens”).


Although, the people living in populated areas are able to avail lucrative great oppurtunities opportunities in fields terms of education, employment and enterntainment entertainment somehow, there are some issues to be dealth dealt with. First of all, the most nototrious notorious one is; traffic congestion, as the number of vehicles on roads is increasing, and there is no solution to it yet. Causing air and noise polution pollution, it is the greatest drivers a major factor in manipulating undermining human's mental and physical health. Another worth mentioning worry is, unemployment. As more and more people are leaving their hometowns in search of jobs; the city populas population is swelling increasing up day by day.

  • Don’t use a comma right ater a “to be”, or a subordinating conjunction (like “although”). Usually, a comma is used to separated two clauses.

  • Lucrative” does not go along with “opportunity”.

  • The correct word choice here is “in terms of”, not “in fields of”, as shown in Google Ngram.

  • Swelling” means “become bigger in size”, not “an increase in terms of number or amount”. A population isn’t something like a cake, it doesn’t have a definite size.

  • The author has provided two issue of urban life: traffic and unemployment. Each idea is also supported by a following sentence.

 

As far long as the government role is concerned, it seems that it could help lessen the problems faced by urban habitants dwellers. To illustrate, the authorities should start housing schemes in smaller towns to divert public attention towards smaller towns. Also, providing health and job facilities within one's hometown could persuade people to stay there more. In addition to this, factories and hospital buildings ahould should be moved into remote areas to support rural living lives.

  • As far as” means “for as great a distance as”. The correct word choice is “as long as”.

  • “Habitant”, or “inhabitant” do not go with “urban”. Most of the time, “urban dweller” is the correct choice, as shown in Ngram. If you are not sure which is the correct term, then even an elementary choice like “city people” is fine. Making mistakes is much, much worse that using a non-advanced word.


To conclude, infact in fact people do fantasize about living in larger cities; to dwell among advanced living standards, but when after after when moving in, they have to encounter certain problems. To tackle the situation, government governments should step in, and design solid propose schemes to stop urban crawl urban growth. It should initiate implement plans to ease urban inhabitants dwellers, and inspire them to move into smaller settlements.

  • This conclusion is consistent with the ideas in two Body Paragraphs. This means a decent score in terms of Coherence.

  • When talking about “scheme” as in “policy’, then the correct collocation is not “to design a scheme”, but rather “to propose a scheme”. And this word does not go along with “solid”.

 

Words: 265.

 

Overall: 6.0

  • Task Response: 7

    • addresses all parts of the task (the author has written more than 250 words, and answered all the topic questions)

    • presents a clear position throughout the response (the conclusion is clear and on-point)

    • presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

  • Coherence and Cohesion: 7

    • logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout

    • uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use (“despite”, “although”, “first of all”, “another”, “to illustrate”, “also”)

    • presents a clear central topic within each paragraph (the author developed each paragraph with a topic sentence and some branching sentences)

  • Lexical Resource: 5

    • uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task

    • may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader (various spelling errors leads to a 5 here)

  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

    • uses only a limited range of structures attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences

    • may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader (there are many punctuation errors)

 

(This essay correction is done by Anh Tran - an administrator of Let’s Write Something.)

Next: Working from home (Corrected Essay)
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27 Comments
Anonymous

Across the globe, many people consider music as a mere amusement tool for individuals while other proponents contend that it plays a pivotal role in our society. However, I firmly assert that music has a significant even irreplaceable role in our daily lives since it has a medical soothing effect on our physical and mental health. However, there are some music that could be considered as only a noise, nothing else.
To begin with, many elderly generations tend to consider modern music as full of noise and anxiety since many latest music producers' masterpieces show fast rhythm and raps. Many adults believe that these types of music only can harm the young generation's mind but obtain nothing good from it. For example, the modern music industry releases much music with there are only a few words, not to mention the content of the text, full of sex exposure and seductive words. Our young generation could be led astray with these kinds of music.
By contrast, music could be extremely peaceful and soothing if it is made by real talented musicians, like, Mozart. According to the research conclusion about some of the classic music, Mozart’s masterpieces may trigger the alfa wave in the human brain and facilitate education and mental healthiness. Besides, some music are good additive for sports, like, elating emotions.

In conclusion, does music plays a great role in our lives depends on the essence of the music itself. I firmly believe that good music may provide us with positive feedback and encourage us to think positively and act efficiently. 

It could be considered a band 7.0 sample, checked with Chat GPT and Grammarly.

Anonymous

The flowchart depicts the cheese-producing steps. Overall, there are involved a total of 8 steps in order to produce high-quality cheese. It begins with mixing raw milk with bacteria ending up with processed food delivery.
Firstly, it can be seen that the acidification process begins with mixing raw milk and bacteria in a container, facilitated by the addition of enzymes, resulting in the transformation of the liquid into solid curds. Subsequently, the obtained curds were meticulously sliced into small pieces poured into the pot, and heated the curds before they turned into a dried state.  Next, the following step is to pour out the liquefied form of curds into a bowl or other container for adding salts.
In the subsequent stage, the liquid form of curds was cooled down and poured into shape making machine in order to mold them into specific cubic shapes.  Moving forward, shaped curds were placed inside the shelf for a two-month fermentation process. Finally, collected fermented cheeses are packaged and then will be delivered to the retailer for sale.
It is a band 6.5 sample, tested with Chat GPT.

Anonymous

Many people consider listening music as one of the best alternative to get relieved from stress and anxiety. Music plays a significant role on the society but some people treat music, just as a form of entertainment.

Firstly, music which reveals family relations and patriotism shows a significant impact on the society and the nation whereas music which completely acts as an antagonist (which affect human relations) may have negative impact on the children and the teen age groups across the world. Melody and romantical songs are always considered as better medicines to anyone who is suffering from depression and stress. Moreover, this type of songs surely relaxes us from various mental tensions and it also merely protects us from being attacked by mental problems but some individuals listen music while driving a motor bike on highways which may pose a dangerous threat to them.

On the other hand, music can also be treated as a simple way of entertainment to the public. Nowadays, some young ones are getting attracted to listening songs while driving a car or when performing physical exercises which shall improve their mood. Whereas, few people listen music to be happier and to improve their sleep quality whilst there are also few people who listen music when they feel bored only for entertainment purpose.

To conclude, in my opinion, music surely plays an important role on the society in both good and bad ways. I'd recommend every individual to consider music as a positive development only, such as to repair ones mood and also for the betterment of the society.

Anonymous

The given diagram illustrates the process of cheese making. This process involves various steps to follow in order to make good quality cheese.

Overall, the main source in cheese production is raw milk, which undergoes several steps after solidifying them to form cheese.

Firstly, raw milk is converted to curd by following a couple of steps such as acidification and adding tenzyme to milk. Then curd formed after this step is converted into solid curd cubes by following solidification process. Then, these cubes are cut into small pieces and are then heated and drained. Next, the liquid formed after heating small curd cubes is taken into a bowl.

Secondly, after heating and draining, salt is added to the liquid, which then undergoes shaping. After shaping, it goes through 2 months of fermentation process. As a result, after 2 months, cheese is formed which is then packed and supplied to various shops.

anjaliraj2112@gmail.com

The diagram illustrates about the process involved in making cheese .
The pivotal point of the whole procedure is producing cheese mainly, these process consists of formation of curd, shaping the curd, fermentation and packaging.

The Raw milk which contains Bacteria in it is known as acidification, by adding tenzyme to this raw milk curd starts producing which is known as solidification then slice the curds into Bits subsequently heating and draining is done to remove the excess amount of water. After heating and draining add salt to the residue, after adding salt to the residue shaping machine provides the structure to the curds.

Fermentation is the most important process for making cheese. In the last stage of these process the structured curds is fermented for 2months where the cheese is formed after the period of 2 months of fermentation, the cheese will parcel to the shops.

Anonymous

The visual representation depicts the intricate manufacturing process of cheese, involving a series of nine significant stages. These stages encompass a variety of methods, such as acidification, solidification, shaping, fermentation, and more, ultimately culminating in the production of the final cheese product ready for sale.

The initial step in this process is "acidification," where raw milk is combined with bacteria in a container to produce enzymes. The subsequent stage involves "solidification," during which the enzymes are transformed into curds. These curds are then meticulously cut into smaller pieces and subsequently subjected to heating over a flame. The resultant mixture is then carefully drained using specialized cooking equipment. Following the solidification phase, salt is introduced to the curd pieces to enhance flavor and preservation.

In the subsequent stage, these seasoned pieces undergo a "shaping" process, where specialized instruments are employed to give the cheese its desired form. Finally, the cheese is subjected to a critical phase, "fermentation," lasting approximately two months. During this period, the cheese matures, developing its distinctive flavor and texture. Upon reaching maturity, the cheese is carefully and meticulously packaged, ensuring it is well-protected for distribution to various retail outlets.

In conclusion, the manufacturing of cheese is a meticulous and multistep process involving acidification, solidification, shaping, and fermentation, among other essential stages. Each stage contributes to the development of the unique characteristics of the final cheese product, which is then thoughtfully packaged and sent to market for consumers to enjoy.

dream catcher

Music is a form of art and expression particularly evolves the organizations of voice over time, it contains a variety of various meanings and roles for community and individual. Some people presume, it is just an entertainment of daily life whereas other ones assume, it holds a vital influence in society. These opinions are acceptable to argue that music has its exclusive determination by the position.

To begin with music has a role more than only entertaining is a form of expressions in that occasionally related to cultural, religious, and identifying significance exclusively. Another word, each Independence Day surely sings a special national song which contains a meaningful role to remember the hero services, patriotism, and nationalism. Consequently, what statement emphasizes it more than just music, they comprehend that comprehensively. In addition to, music additionally brings a certain identification in various culture by virtue of the recognizing voice organization has been able to introduce what it is from. All of these are identity that play essential role in society as well as it provides a wide range of importance of divergent.

On the other hand, music brings different meaning of its connoisseur since they become it part of alternative to bush mood of daily life. For instance, some people will feel easier to study if they play music firstly. As a consequence, it provides a positive effect into where the help of music has mood booster system. Besides, music is a set-off of voice phenomenon that can absorb the negative energy in body and mind especially those who are interested to disconnect from stress and abundance of life process. This presumption definitely generates undoubted pleasure thing as much like other instruments TV or reading book.

Having two essences of view respectively makes music establishing its meaning differently towards citizens’ segmentation. The assumption it is part of fun activity and the opposite one regards more than entertaining having more paramount impact. In my opinion, both are dynamic of condition and situation as a result all individual reserve the right for their position.

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