Nhảy đến nội dung
IELTS Speaking Task Analysis Part 2 (Describe an idea) – Band 6

IELTS Speaking Task Analysis Part 2 (Describe an idea) – Band 6

5.0
(1 votes)

15,578

02/15/2018

 

Let us analyse IELTS speaking performance of a student who gave the following task response in the cue card section and let us check why he was given Band 6.

IELTS Speaking Cue Card

Describe an idea you had to improve something at work/college

  • What idea it was
  • When and where you had this idea
  • Whom you told about this idea?

What improvement it made at work/college

Task Response:

Ideas are very important because it is a true saying that an idea can change your life or any situation. Whatever you are enjoying in the modern times like laptop, mobile phone, it’s all about an idea. After completing my post graduation last year, I joined rehabilitation centre for the civil persons. Here, I was just the in-charge of that centre and the number of patients were very less. So, it was given to me the responsibility to increase the number of persons. So, I think a lot about how to improve the number of persons, and quality of services was also not very good and I have to think about that also. So, after thinking a lot, I finally…..I got idea that I would do it on a different way. I thought that I will use the social media like Face book, Whatsapp and also the advanced media and electronic media also. Then I discussed with my colleague and also with the centre and they become agree about my idea and we planned on a weekly basis so that more and more patients can come to our centre. I thought this idea improved the number of patients in my centre because after the awareness of our centre services, the number got increased.

Remarks:

Introduction is quite long (Ideas are………all about an idea), the first statement can itself begin with the question. For example, “I would like to describe an idea that changed the way we used to work in the office and it was…..”

“Laptop, mobile phone” should be “laptop or mobile phone”

“It’s all about an idea” can be “it’s all about an idea with which these devices were developed”

“I was just the in-charge” should be “I was the in-charge”

Subject-verb agreement: “number of patients were” should be “number of patients was”

Word order: “So, it was given to me the responsibility” can be “So, responsibility was given to me”

Tense:” So, I think a lot” should be “So, I thought a lot”, “I will use” should be “I would use”

“and I have to think about that also” should be “so I had to think about that also”, “they become agree” should be “they agreed”

Excessive use of “so” can be avoided (So, I was…… , So, I think… , So, after thinking…..)

Self correction: “I finally…..I got idea” can be “I finally got idea”

Preposition: “on a different way” should be “in a different way”

Word missing: “use the social media” should be “use the social media channels”

Overuse of “also” in a sentence can be avoided (“also the advanced media and electronic media also”)

Word missing: “I thought this idea improved” should be “I thought this idea has improved”

Expected Band Score: 6.0

The candidate has spoken well for long with sufficient usage of vocabulary and his ideas are clear to understand but there are some errors of grammar, tense, preposition etc. that restrict the score to Band 6

 

 

Bình luận

Notifications
Thông báo