Problem of people living in big cities
Topic: People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?
Nowadays, the majority of world population is living in urban areas. While many people associate city life with prosperity, urban dwellers actually have to experience various difficulties, including crime and environmental pollution. From my perspective, governments should use counter-urbanization as a measure to ease the aforementioned problems.
One of the common issues with living in a city is crime. For a violent crime to occur, there must be a culprit and a victim. In a highly populated area, the risk of encountering a mob is much higher than that of a small town. Additionally, if the culprit feels protected by the anonymity that a large city provides, he may commit more wrongdoings. Furthermore, air pollution is also a prevalent issue in major cities. Surface transportation is the main source of greenhouse gas emissions, which cause respiratory problems to the people. This problem is exacerbated by the sheer number of vehicles commuting daily in the city.
In my opinion, to tackle both the issues above, governments should promote the migration from urban areas to rural ones. As the population density of a metropolitan area is reduced, so do crimes and air pollution. However, city dwellers have their reasons to stay in urban places, such as to enjoy education and job opportunities. This is why governments need to step in because only they can introduce rural development policies. If countryside areas have better infrastructures, people will find less incentive to live in big cities.
In conclusion, crime and air pollution are two of the various problems of urban life. I believe that urban-to-rural migration, promoted by governments, is an appropriate solution for those issues.
(273 words)
(This model essay is written by Anh Tran - an administrator of Let’s Write Something.)
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Topic: People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?
This is a two-part question essay, formed by mixing a cause-solution essay and an opinion essay. Such a question type may appear frequently in the future.
Sample essay band 6.0:
Despite a facilitated lifestyle, the urban populas seems to deal with certain difficulties. This essay will discuss those associateted isseues, and whether or not the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for major cities.
Although, the people living in populated areas are able to avail lucrative oppurtunities in fields of education, employment and enterntainment somehow, there are some issues to be dealth with. First of all, the most nototrious is; traffic congestion, as the number of vehicles on roads is increasing, and there is no solution to it yet. Causing air and noise polution, the greatest drivers in manipulating human's mental and physical health. Another worth mentioning worry is, unemployment. As more and more people are leaving their hometowns in search of jobs; the city populas is swelling up day by day.
As far as the government role is concerned, it seems that it could help lessen the problems faced by urban habitants. To illustrate, the authorities should start housing schemes in smaller towns to divert public attention towards smaller towns. Also, providing health and job facilities within one's hometown could persuade people to stay there more. In addition, factories and hospital buildings ahould be moved into remote areas to support rural living.
To conclude, infact people do fantasize about living in larger cities; to dwell among advanced living standards, but when after moving in they have to encounter certain problems. To tackle the situation, government should step in, and design solid schemes to stop urban crawl. It should initiate plans to ease urban inhabitants and inspire them to move into smaller settlements.
(Written by Nadia Syed)
Corrected Essay
Despite a facilitated comfortable lifestyle, the urban populas populace seems to deal with certain difficulties. This essay will discuss those associateted associated isseues issues, and whether or not the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for to major cities for citizens.
“Facilitated” isn’t usually used as an adjective, especially when going with “lifestyle”. The correct collocation here is “comfortable lifestyle”.
There are many typographic errors in this essay, such as “associateted”. Generally, in the IELTS exam, one-time mistakes are considered as “slips”, and they will not hamper your final score too much (unless they occur very frequently).
However, repeated errors like “populas” are treated differently. There is no English word like that, only “popuplation”, or “populace”, with the former being much more prevalent. It looks the author is trying too hard to paraphrase the keyword “population”, without any success.
The phrase “the governments should promote smaller towns as an alternative for major cities” is ambiguous. It is not clear who should use smaller towns instead of using major cities (“citizens”).
Although, the people living in populated areas are able to avail lucrative great oppurtunities opportunities in fields terms of education, employment and enterntainment entertainment somehow, there are some issues to be dealth dealt with. First of all, the most nototrious notorious one is; traffic congestion, as the number of vehicles on roads is increasing, and there is no solution to it yet. Causing air and noise polution pollution, it is the greatest drivers a major factor in manipulating undermining human's mental and physical health. Another worth mentioning worry is, unemployment. As more and more people are leaving their hometowns in search of jobs; the city populas population is swelling increasing up day by day.
Don’t use a comma right ater a “to be”, or a subordinating conjunction (like “although”). Usually, a comma is used to separated two clauses.
“Lucrative” does not go along with “opportunity”.
The correct word choice here is “in terms of”, not “in fields of”, as shown in Google Ngram.
“Swelling” means “become bigger in size”, not “an increase in terms of number or amount”. A population isn’t something like a cake, it doesn’t have a definite size.
The author has provided two issue of urban life: traffic and unemployment. Each idea is also supported by a following sentence.
As far long as the government role is concerned, it seems that it could help lessen the problems faced by urban habitants dwellers. To illustrate, the authorities should start housing schemes in smaller towns to divert public attention towards smaller towns. Also, providing health and job facilities within one's hometown could persuade people to stay there more. In addition to this, factories and hospital buildings ahould should be moved into remote areas to support rural living lives.
“As far as” means “for as great a distance as”. The correct word choice is “as long as”.
“Habitant”, or “inhabitant” do not go with “urban”. Most of the time, “urban dweller” is the correct choice, as shown in Ngram. If you are not sure which is the correct term, then even an elementary choice like “city people” is fine. Making mistakes is much, much worse that using a non-advanced word.
To conclude, infact in fact people do fantasize about living in larger cities; to dwell among advanced living standards, but when after after when moving in, they have to encounter certain problems. To tackle the situation, government governments should step in, and design solid propose schemes to stop urban crawl urban growth. It should initiate implement plans to ease urban inhabitants dwellers, and inspire them to move into smaller settlements.
This conclusion is consistent with the ideas in two Body Paragraphs. This means a decent score in terms of Coherence.
When talking about “scheme” as in “policy’, then the correct collocation is not “to design a scheme”, but rather “to propose a scheme”. And this word does not go along with “solid”.
Words: 265.
Overall: 6.0
Task Response: 7
addresses all parts of the task (the author has written more than 250 words, and answered all the topic questions)
presents a clear position throughout the response (the conclusion is clear and on-point)
presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
Coherence and Cohesion: 7
logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout
uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use (“despite”, “although”, “first of all”, “another”, “to illustrate”, “also”)
presents a clear central topic within each paragraph (the author developed each paragraph with a topic sentence and some branching sentences)
Lexical Resource: 5
uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader (various spelling errors leads to a 5 here)
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
uses only a limited range of structures attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader (there are many punctuation errors)
(This essay correction is done by Anh Tran - an administrator of Let’s Write Something.)
Comments:
The two diagrams depict the ground floor plan of a building house.
Overall, significant changes were made around the stairs. Before, there was storage under the stairs and a hall beside the stair which got dismissed. Besides, the existing internal doors and internal walls were replaced in a different direction.
On the existing floor plan, there were two entrance doors, and at one entrance door, there was storage under the stairs also with a hall beside the stairs. Besides, there were two internal doors along with walls to separate the kitchen as well as the living room.
On the proposed changes plan, firstly the storage under the stairs also the hall got canceled. Secondly, the internal wall, as well as the door in front of the living room, got canceled, and two internal doors with one wall in front of the kitchen were proposed. Thirdly, at the corner of the kitchen, kitchen furniture was included.
The diagram illustrates the ground floor plan changes, which are made from the previous plan. Overall, we can see there are only minor changes which have been made at the staircase, and the internal walls.
Regarding the proposed changes, it is clear that the internal wall in the Living Room has been removed so as to enlarge it., simultaneously, the storage under the stairs has been eliminated. Further, internal doors are relocated towards the entrance, which are now adjacent to each other rather than opposite. After relocation of the doors, the hall has been now occupied by the full flight of stairs. As far as Kitchen is concerned, the size of it is reduced by adding the kitchen furniture parallel to the entire kitchen walls, which might be the dinning area.
TASK 1
These diagrams depict the existing ground floor plan for a house, and the proposed changes made to it's building structure. In the initial floor plan, as you enter the house you immediately walk into a long hall with stairs on it's right side, along with a storage space available under the stairs. At the far end of the hall, there's two doors on both sides, with the kitchen on the left and the living room on the right hand side, behind the stairs.
However, in the second diagram massive changes are made to this floor plan. Now, the hallway is no longer there and instead when you enter the house, you walk right into the living room, with the staircase at the far end corner. Moreover, now the kitchen has a double door entrance, on the left side from the main entrance door and It also includes a separate place for kitchen furniture for more convenience.
TASK 2
In the early years of a child's life, providing a good education is very important to ensure they have a strong grasp on the basics before they are expected to any learn further. Many parents may argue that homeschooling is the right way to educate your children while others would be in favor of children going to schools.
While homeschooling your children would be a highly demanding task, it would ensure that the child is getting individual time and attention. Often, in a big classroom it is difficult for the teacher to pay attention to every student and there is no knowing whether they are focusing in class. Moreover, children might feel more comfortable learning from their own parents and may take more interest and more participation in their learning activities.
However, sending kids to school is more commonly practiced as it is alot more convenient than homeschooling. Homeschooling would be a full time job for a parent and they'd have no choice but to stay at home for the sake of their children. Sending children to schools is a proper way to ensure quality education. For a child's development a well-rounded education is highly important so they learn new skills, get creative, socialise, and do team working, as well as just learning what is in their textbooks.
In my opinion, homeschooling is not the best method of education as children tend to become introverted. Hence, sending children to school is vital in order to develop a confident personality and to have more learning experiences which would help them become their true selves.
The given diagrams depict a plan of a ground floor.
Overall, the most significant changes are supposed to be made between the living room and the kitchen. In the future it is planned to remove hall and storage under stairs. Besides, the stairs zone on the existing floor is obviously smaller than in the proposed one.
Internal doors on the current plan are located on the sides of two internal walls, opposite the entrance door. The renovation implies removing the right internal wall and shifting doors down to the entrance. In addition, in the proposed plan there is no storage under stairs. That way, more space would be left for the stairs zone.
However, future alteration do not affect kitchen and living room. The only thing that is going to be changed is kitchen furniture: the proposed plan shows the presence of furniture unlike existing one. Nevertheless, due to removed right internal wall the kitchen zone becomes more spacious.
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It is often argued that home education is the most proper decision for children’s development, whilst many people consider actually attending school extremely significant. Undoubtedly, both ways of educating children have their own benefits. But personally I believe that going to school is one of the key parts of minors’ socialisation.
On the one hand, children who do not have to regularly attend classes at school have substantially more time for their hobbies. They have possibility to do exactly what they are interested in. Furthermore, home education is also about an individual approach to everyone, so the process of learning becomes more effective, easy and enjoyable for a student. Due to recent research conducted by the University of California, 87% of children who study at home have significant achievements in other spheres of their lives, such as hobbies and various extracurricular activities.
On the other hand, socialisation is a very important part of everyone’s life. School’s major goal is not to simply give some amount of knowledge to pupils but also make them learn how to behave properly in society. Besides, school time gives us unforgettable memories with our peers and ties with them may be really helpful in future. Personally I have been a very secure person before the first grade and only school has been able to teach me how to communicate with people and make friends.
In conclusion, although it seems very convenient to study from home and not having to go somewhere every morning and lose time, I am sure school is an inevitable place that first of all prepares us to real life difficulties and problems.
The two maps display the current floor plan and the one that includes some changes that are suggested to make.
Overall, two main parts namely kitchen and living room are going to remain at their own places but some changes connected with little elements are considered to be implemented.
An existing floor plan has a hall and stairs between kitchen and living room. The two internal doors are located at the top of the map and there are internal walls near them. Besides, a storage is placed under stairs.
The plan that shows us proposed changes has some local differences. Furniture is planned to be added to kitchen. It is suggested to remove one internal wall and the storage under stairs. Besides, the hall is fully removed. The internal doors are going to be placed at the bottom near the entrance door. Stairs are supposed to be expanded in the place where the internal doors, the internal wall, the hall and the storage are now located.
The two maps display the current floor plan and the one that includes some changes that are suggested to make.
Overall, two main parts namely kitchen and living room are going to remain at their own places but some changes connected with little elements are considered to be implemented.
An existing floor plan has a hall and stairs between kitchen and living room. The two internal doors are located at the top of the map and there are internal walls near them. Besides, a storage is placed under stairs.
The plan that shows us proposed changes has some local differences. Furniture is planned to be added to kitchen. It is suggested to remove one internal wall and the storage under stairs. Besides, the hall is fully removed. The internal doors are going to be placed at the bottom near the entrance door. Stairs are supposed to be expanded in the place where the internal doors, the internal wall, the hall and the storage are now located.
The picture illustrates the floor plan of an already existing building and proposed changes for a new building .
Overall , it is expected that the new building will have a larger living room , bigger stair case and a modern kitchen.
In the existing floor plan , the kitchen on the right is separated from the hall by a wall on its right . At the center of the floor is a hall which is separated from the kitchen and the living room by two internal walls lying adjacent to each other . Within the hall is a stair case with a storage beneath and two doors one on each wall , located at the upper ends , which permit entry and exit into the kitchen and the living room .The living room is situated at the left end of the floor.
In the proposed plan , the kitchen will be made more modern by adding furniture into it . Also , the wall separating the kitchen from the hall will be extended to occupy the location of the door ,while the door will be moved to the lower end of the same wall .The hall , will be demolished , the storage under the staircase removed , and the staircase extended .The living room on the other hand will be made larger by pulling down the wall on its right end which separates it from the hall. Also , its door will be removed and move to the south end of the kitchen's internal wall , now lying adjacent to the other door .
The picture illustrates the floor plan of an already existing building and proposed changes for a new building .
Overall , it is expected that the new building will have a larger living room , bigger stair case and a modern kitchen.
In the existing floor plan , the kitchen on the right is separated from the hall by a wall on its right . At the center of the floor is a hall which is separated from the kitchen and the living room by two internal walls lying adjacent to each other . Within the hall is a stair case with a storage beneath and two doors one on each wall , located at the upper ends , which permit entry and exit into the kitchen and the living room .The living room is situated at the left end of the floor.
In the proposed plan , the kitchen will be made more modern by adding furniture into it . Also , the wall separating the kitchen from the hall will be extended to occupy the location of the door ,while the door will be moved to the lower end of the same wall .The hall , will be demolished , the storage under the staircase removed , and the staircase extended .The living room on the other hand will be made larger by pulling down the wall on its right end which separates it from the hall. Also , its door will be removed and move to the south end of the kitchen's internal wall , now lying adjacent to the other door .
The map shows architectural design of a house in its current form and planned changes to its design in the future. It can be seen that in the proposed plan the living room area is increased and the stairs are located right in front of the main entrance.
Currently the house has a main entrance that opens into a hall with stairs located in its right side .On the end of the hall there are two doors one on the right side other on the left side. Door on the right opens into a living room and door on the left opens into a kitchen. kitchen also has a separate entrance from outside and it does not have any furniture currently.
In the modified plan main entrance opens into the living room with stairs in front. On the left of entrance there are two doors which open into kitchen which is now modified to have kitchen furniture along its walls.
There is storage under the stairs currently which is excluded in the new plan.
The two diagrams depict the ground floor of the house before and after the proposed changes.
Overall, prominent changes such as stairs, doors and internal walls made the rooms become more functional and more spacious than before.
On the 1st diagram, there is mainly three spaces where as the kitchen on the left-hand side, hall in the middle and living room beside stairs. They were divided by internal walls and there were two doors attached to walls which were located at the opposite of each other. Furthermore, kitchen can be seen as the widest area in the plan. But both kitchen and living room did not have any furniture added.
On the 2nd diagram, the proposed changes for ground floor were made, where most part of the internal walls were dismissed. And then, the staircase has been moved to the other side of the entrance. Furthermore, not only doors to kitchen were widened but also furniture were added. Although living room remained the same, it seems wider than before. Therefore, after renovation plan, living room can be seen as the most spacious space.