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IELTS Writing Task 1 Analysis (Complaining About Product) – Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 1 Analysis (Complaining About Product) – Band 7

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06/12/2018

 

Let us try to do complete analysis of IELTS Writing Task 1 of a student preparing for his IELTS exam and find out what band score can be expected.
Question:
You are dissatisfied with the purchase of a product. Write a letter to the manager regarding this and in your letter, write

  • Say why you are writing letter
  • Say what problem it has
  • What you want to suggest

Candidate’s Response:
Dear Sir and Madam,

I am writing this letter, to bring to your notice the problem. I am facing with the new mixer grinder I purchased from your store on 21st December.

The assembly paper says three pots are part of Usha grinder mixer LITE series. But the box contains only two pots. For smaller quantities of food items the third pot that is the missing piece is helpful. It is a very essential for a small family like mine.

I had called your store and shared all details like receipt number, and date of purchase and the issue. But they flatly refused for replacement nor providing the missing pot.

As an old and loyal customer, I would request you to look into this matter personally. As new purchases cannot be opened in the store any missing parts from the package go unnoticed. Kindly change this policy and provide the missing pot.

Looking forward for a positive reply.

Yours faithfully,

Priya Menon

We will now do complete analysis of the following IELTS writing task 1 response as below:

Para 1
Strength:

Purpose of letter is written well
Corrected Erroneous Statement:

” the problem. I am facing” should be ” the problem I am facing”, “grinder I purchased” can be “grinder that I purchased”

Para 2
Strength:

Second part of the question is explained well.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“LITE series. But the box” can be “LITE series but the box”, “For smaller quantities of food items the third pot that is the missing piece is helpful” should be “For smaller quantities of food items, the third pot, which is the missing piece, is helpful”, “It is a very essential” should be “It is a very essential item”

Para 3
Strength:

Point asked in the question is extended well.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“shared all details” can be “shared all the details”, “nor providing the missing pot” should be “not even provided the missing pot”

Para 4
Strength:

Again, the last part of the question is written well.
Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“As new purchases cannot be opened in the store any missing parts from the package go unnoticed” should have comma in between as “As new purchases cannot be opened in the store, any missing parts from the package go unnoticed” but it actually can better be stated as “It might have happened that when new purchases were not opened in the store, any missing part from the package might have gone unnoticed”, “Looking forward for a positive reply” should end with an exclamatory mark as “Looking forward for a positive reply!”

Expected Band Score: Band 7

The candidate writes free from errors of grammar, tense and others but usually misses out a punctuation and when forming complex sentences.

 

 

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