Coherence and Cohesion in Writing and speaking task have the highest weight age in IELTS exam. While this is probably taken lightly by the candidates and that is where they score a low band. You have to avoid the repeated mistake. For that, we look at some examples which will help you in comprehension.
Before that let us know, the problem behind coherence and cohesion. Sometimes, it happens that we lack the idea behind the writing which makes the topic vague. You often think fast and you expect the same from the other person which does not happen. Therefore, it is very important that whatever you write is clear and precise. You need to make the other person understand what exactly you want to convey.
How often to use punctuations?
Coherence and Cohesion precisely are the most important resource. Understand that while you are writing long sentences in your essay they become more complex. Instead, you could use punctuations so that the other person gets some short breaks and understands the idea well. If your sentences are going long up to three-four sentences you just cannot add punctuations to break the sentence. You need to structure them well. Let there be consistency and flow in the writing and speech.
Here is an example for coherence and cohesion errors:
Wrong paragraph:
“According to a group of people, longer prison sentences are necessary for repeat offenders. If they get a longer prison sentence of minimum 20years for the re-offend they would not indulge in a crime again. There are chances that after increasing the punishment there would be fewer crime cases registered. This is the only way we do not have repeat offenders”.
Here is an example for coherence and cohesion errors:
If you notice the paragraph has only one sentence that is about four long lines. Here is how you will make sure that your sentences are cohesive.
1. “According to a group of people” The phrase “according to” suggests facts stated by a person but here the sentence suggests about a certain group of believers. Use appropriate phrases to begin your paragraphs.
2. The message of the writer is unclear as to what he is trying to say and the words are repeated which are of no use.
(Ex: “longer prison sentences” this is used twice in the paragraph which wasn’t required. This is probably because they wanted to make the paragraph long and were less of words. It is very important to be coherent, be precise and clear with your writings.)
3. The conclusion is repeated in the first and the last sentence of the paragraph. The paragraph is of four lines out of which the meaning of two lines is repeated. There is a lack of cohesion, the paragraph is not presented as a package.
4. It is clear that the writer is less of words. There is a repeating sequence of words as well as sentences in a four line paragraph.
Additional pointers:
1. Let the paragraph be short, but remember to be clear and precise.
2. Do not rush with the idea, try maintaining consistency.
Corrected Paragraph version:
“Few people believe that longer prison sentences are necessary for repeated offenders. The idea is that people are much less likely to re-offend if they know that they will receive a serious sentence of perhaps 20 years for any further crimes. This would reform the system with less number of criminals registered with the cops. If the punishment isn’t severe enough the crimes will remain static”.
Note: There can be many variations depending on the way you rephrase the sentences.
Tips on how to make it coherent and cohesive:
1. Be concise with your explanation of the topic.
2. Emphasis should be on the right matter. The idea should be clear in your mind it is then when you will write them well.
3. Don’t keep the sentence long and make it complex unnecessarily. Use the punctuations at the right place.
4. Repetition of words and sentences should be avoided.
Steps to correct faulty sentences:
1. Avoid using unnecessary words like synonyms.
2. Proofread your write-up whether it is logical.
3. Review every sentence, check if it is supporting the idea.
4. Make use of punctuation wherever necessary.
Let us correct a few more examples:
In the sentences below the words underlined are the keywords that are used in the corrected sentences. And words in bold are synonyms.
Example1
1. Faulty statement: It is utmost important for you to crack the entrance exam.
Corrected statement: It is essential for you to crack the entrance exam.
Example2
2. Faulty statement: Technology will make you learn new things in an easy manner.
Corrected statement: Technology is quicker to learn and easily accessible.
Below are some paragraphs for you to solve. Find the errors.
1. For me, the worst thing about waiting tables is the uniform. All the waitresses had to wear this ugly brown striped jumper. The shirts were polyester. Sometimes someone you know comes in. Now I have a job in an office.
2. Credit cards are convenient but dangerous. People often get them in order to make large purchases easily without saving up lots of money in advance. This is especially helpful for purchases like cars, kitchen appliances, etc., that you may need to get without delay. However, this convenience comes at a high price: interest rates.
3. To begin with, how children are made to grow. The behavior and development of the children are not well looked. You will always see that what the parents teach is what the child will behave. The growing of children is not looked upon well his manners, teachings are low.
Comments:
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is true that the globalization has made the world a global village and the countries are lot more similar than ever before. These days, people can have the same items from any part of the world. This trend, in my opinion, has both negative and positives aspects due to various reasons.
First, one problem that comes with this development is that countries might lose part of their culture. For example, today many teenagers in my country prefer listening to international bands instead of local musicians. As the music is a way of conveying some elements of the local culture, by listening only to international music, the teenagers lose contact with their own culture. This means that they will not be able to pass their culture on to the next generations. As a result, the culture will disappear. This is a negative aspect, since the existence of different cultures is what makes the world so interesting.
However, the fact that we are able to buy the same products is a very positive aspect of globalization. For instance, before it happens, people from South America found it difficult to buy a high quality computer. This convenient accessibility is even more important when we discuss access to some medication. Today, some countries have improved their population's life expectancy because their citizens had access to certain drugs.
In conclusion, although there are pros and cons related to this development, I think that the positive aspects outweigh the negative ones, since it might make a great improvement to people's lives.
(Written by Sudabeh)
It is true that in couple of years world become small village. Globalization made significant change because of it people from one country can buy anything which is available in other countries. As a result every nation becoming similar. In my opinion this is the positive development.
Firstly, due to globalization foreign fashion is popular world wide. Every individual is exited to observe and experience new things which leads to purchase other country products. For instance, Apple is a foreign brand for smartphones and its product are available in almost every country. So people can easily buy and operate. Moreover, it is creating similarities with foreigners. There will be no wonder for local people if foreigners come to visit any other country and having apple phones.
Secondly, it helps to connect people with each other easily as well as create environment for tourism. There are lots of people who are very particular about their lifestyle whatever they utilizing in home country they think may be same product will not be available in other nations where they would like to visit. Furthermore, if products are easily available across the world they can easily travel. For example, KFC is a franchise store which are worldwide with same taste. so, tourists can enjoy same as they feel in their home country.
In conclusion, yes this is the positive development which helps to make entire world as a small village and people are becoming friendly with each other. It is very helpful for development of poor country.
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In modern era technology increasing day -by-day by this world convert into global market.people can buy any product in all over the world . According to me it is a positive development due to make convenient human life and reduce culture difference. I will discuss some points to support my view point,why I think it is a positive development. To commence with, tecnology make number of social sites for online marketing that offer all nations food , costumes and so on hence,masses can buy anything which they want to buy although that available only in their country they can buy that in any corner of the world.it make every person ,s life more easy.Gor instance Amazon is a inter national marketing site that available in all countries of the world and every person can use it and buy anything in all nations.
furthermore, it is useful to make all countries in one because it very beneficial for reduce the difference between cultures of all cultures customes are available in any where other countries individuals obisily try other countries customes and food and some of them adopt other nations culture and also they can make some changes in their own culture that make all countries one .In addition if all products available in all over the world it improve the quality of products because all countries will want to get high sales that is only possible good quality of products. To sum up, it is a positive development and helpful for all nation,s people . Government should do work to increase it because it also beneficial.for making developed nation.