How to Write a 7.5 Band Essay in IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The difference between a 6 band and a 7.5 band in the Academic writing task 1 of IELTS could simply be the kind of words used in the essay. If you use words like ‘rapid’ and ‘drastic‘ instead of ‘fast‘ and ‘unexpected’ it would not only add weight to your essay but your chances of scoring a higher band go up too. But do you know to do this?
In this article you will learn about such differences between a 6 band essay and a 7.5 band essay in the writing task 1 of the IELTS Academic. A sample 6 band essay will be taken as an example and each point will be re-framed by pointing out the mistakes and making the sentence structure and grammar better.
Let’s look the example question and a sample answer for understanding this.
Example question:
The following diagram illustares how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric dam.
Write a 150-word essay describing the process.
The given diagram illustrate the a hydroelectric dam in which electricity is produced. The whole phenomenon, includes a large dam constructed in the river which creates a larger reservoir which is further connected to the powerhouse where the electricity is generated.6 band sample answer:
First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. Then it flows through a zone called Penstock, due to which pressure at the exit of penstock gets rocketed. This high pressure water rotates the turbine which is at the exit of penstock. The turbine is connect to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity produced, is then delivered to long distances with the help of cables.
The electricity generated has no harmful effects and it is manufactured through a renewable source of energy. The water from turbine flows through flows through another channel into the river.
How can this answer be turned into a 7.5 band essay
The first sentence of the essay has grammatical as well as spelling errors, instead of “The given diagram illustrate the a hydroelectric dam in which electricity is produced.”
It should be “The given diagram illustrates the way a hydroelectric dam produces electricity.”
Moving on the next sentence , which says, “The whole phenomenon, includes a large dam constructed in the river which creates a larger reservoir which is further connected to the powerhouse where the electricity is generated.” This sentence is not only structured wrongly but is also very long. Avoid constructing such long sentences.
A better way to put the same thing would have been “The whole process starts with a dam constructed in a river, creating a larger reservoir. This is further connected to the powerhouse where the electricity is generated.”
(from here on the mistakes will be marked in red and the changes and alterations will be marked in green)
First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. Then it (After this, it) flows through a zone called Penstock where, at the exit the pressure of the water rises up. This high pressure water rotates the turbine which is (located) at the exit of the penstock. The turbine is connect (connected) to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from the flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity thus produced, is then delivered (supplied) to long distances (various locations, near and far, ) with the help of cables (pipes)
The electricity generated this way through hydroelectric power, has no harmful effects. An added advantage here is that is also a renewable source of energy. The water from turbine flows through flows through another channel into the river.
What the complete answer looks like?
The given diagram illustrates the way a hydroelectric dam produces electricity. The whole process starts with a dam constructed in a river, creating a larger reservoir. This is further connected to the powerhouse where the electricity is generated.
First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. After this, it flows through a zone called Penstock where, at the exit the pressure of the water rises up. This high pressure water rotates the turbine located at the exit of the penstock. The turbine is connected to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from the flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity thus produced, is then supplied to various locations, near and far, with the help of pipes
The electricity generated this way through hydroelectric power, has no harmful effects. An added bonus here is that is also a renewable source of energy.
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