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QUESTION

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

ANSWER

I'm of the opinion that group sports are fundamental to improve collaboration among children. In general sport's values are of a big importance, especially those teached to a team, because its not anymore an individual competition, but you play as a team with the same goal. Its when respect and fairplay takes place.

Firstly, the team spirit is unique and creates on itself an unity of efforts. In this way each element feels he is part of a main ideal and objective. As an example this children will also have more sense of respect for each other both in the train as well as in the school playground. If you sport fairly you must likely gonna play on the same way.

Secondly, a child that has a sport mindset will be certainly more open for sugestions. She is used to hear from his trainer and her team mates. Therefore this will prepare her to have a better dialogue with other, rather they are teachers, school workers or another students. Finally, group sports always require an effort of preparation demanding coordination to keep the club organized and active. For instance children need to clean the materials used during the training and that creates between them a sense of teamwork and responsability taking together.

In summary, the fairplay goes far behind the sport field but also in the playground where children will learn to respect each other. Furthermore, sport mindset provides skills to children to dialogue better with school staff. And lastly team work is not only on the game but on the organization of the facilities and materials.

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Overall score: 7.0
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

I'm of the opinion that group sports are fundamental to for improve improving collaboration among children. In general, sport's values are of a great big importance, especially those teached taught to a team, because its it's not anymore just an individual competition, but you play as a team with the same goal. Its It's when respect and fairplay fair takes play come into place.

Firstly, the team spirit is unique and creates on in itself an unity of efforts. In this way, each element member feels he is part of a main ideal and objective. As an example, this these children will also have more sense of respect for each other both in the train training as well as in the school playground. If you sport play fairly, you must are likely gonna going to play on in the same way.

Secondly, a child that has a sport mindset will be certainly more open for to sugestions suggestions. She is used to hear listening from his her trainer coach and her team mates teammates. Therefore, this will prepare her to have a better dialogue with other others, rather whether they are teachers, school workers, or another other students.

Finally, group sports always require an effort of preparation, demanding coordination to keep the club organized and active. For instance, children need to clean the materials used during the training, and that creates between among them a sense of teamwork and responsability responsibility taking to take on tasks together.

In summary, the fairplay concept of fair play goes far behind beyond the sport field but also in extends to the playground where children will learn to respect each other. Furthermore, a sport mindset provides skills to children to dialogue better with school staff. And lastly, team teamwork work is not only on important in the game but on also in the organization of the facilities and materials.

(277 words)
Deleted:to
The construction "for improving" is more appropriate for indicating purpose.
Added:for
Deleted:improve
Added:improving
Added:,
Deleted:a
Added:great
"Of great importance" conveys a stronger and more accurate meaning.
Deleted:big
Deleted:teached
"Taught" is the correct past tense form of "teach," original usage was grammatically incorrect.
Added:taught
Deleted:its
Added:it's
Deleted:anymore
"Anymore" is used incorrectly in context and is unnecessary in the sentence.
Added:just
Deleted:Its
Added:It's
"It's" is the contraction for "it is," while "its" denotes possession.
Deleted:fairplay
"Fair play" is the correct phrase, not combined into one word.
Added:fair
Deleted:takes
Added:play
Added:come into
Deleted:on
Added:in
Corrected the phrase for idiomatic English usage; "in itself" is the proper form, and "a unity" uses the correct article "a" before a word starting with a consonant sound.
Added:,
To improve sentence structure, clarify meaning, and enhance readability.
Deleted:element
"Member" is a more precise term than "element" for referring to individuals in a team.
Added:member
Added:,
Deleted:this
Added:these
"These" is the proper plural demonstrative adjective to use with the plural noun "children."
Deleted:train
"In training" is the appropriate term for the context of sports practice, rather than "in the train," which is not contextually relevant.
Added:training
Deleted:sport
Improved grammatical structure and clarity, changing "sport" to "play" which is the correct verb, and using "are likely going to" for proper future tense.
Added:play
Added:,
Deleted:must
Added:are
Deleted:gonna
Added:going
Added:to
Deleted:on
Added:in
Deleted:for
Added:to
Deleted:sugestions
"Open to suggestions" is the correct grammatical structure; "to" is the proper preposition to use with "open" in this context.
Added:suggestions
Deleted:hear
Changed the verb form to "listening" instead of "hear" to appropriately describe a habitual action.
Added:listening
Deleted:his
Corrected the possessive pronoun "his" to "her" for consistency with the subject "She"
Added:her
Deleted:trainer
Added:coach
Deleted:team mates
Added:teammates
Added:,
Deleted:other
Added:others
"Others" is grammatically correct as it refers to other people in a general sense, also needing plural form to parallel "teachers, school workers, or other students."
Deleted:rather
Added:whether
"Whether" introduces a clause providing alternatives (teachers, school workers, or other students) and is the correct conjunction to use in this context.
Added:,
Deleted:another
Added:other
Added:,
The comma after "preparation" sets off the participle phrase "demanding coordination" and improves readability.
Added:,
Added:,
Deleted:between
Added:among
Deleted:responsability
Corrected a spelling mistake; "responsibility" is the accurate spelling for the word meaning a duty or obligation.
Added:responsibility
Deleted:taking
Reworded to improve clarity and specify that the sense of teamwork comes from the cooperative action of taking on tasks together.
Added:to
Added:take on tasks
Deleted:fairplay
"Fair play" is a noun phrase that does not need a definite article in this context, and "beyond" is the correct preposition to indicate that the concept extends further.
Added:concept
Added:of fair play
Deleted:behind
Added:beyond
Deleted:in
Added:extends
Added:to
Added:a
Added:,
Deleted:team
Added:teamwork
"Teamwork" is the standard form of the noun describing the cooperative effort of a team, so it is combined into one word for proper usage.
Deleted:work
Deleted:on
Added:important
Added:in
"In the game" is the proper prepositional phrase to indicate participation within a sporting event.
Deleted:on
Added:also
Added:in
"In the organization" is grammatically correct when referring to the involvement in arranging or managing activities related to clubs or groups.
7.0
7.0
7.0
7.0
Sample Answer's Overall Score: 8.0

The value of teamwork is a foundational tenet generally inculcated in early education, and many argue that school-based team sports are an exceptional method for imparting cooperative skills in children. I am inclined to agree with this perspective to a considerable extent but also recognize the complexity of children's education which necessitates a multifaceted approach beyond a single solution.

To begin with, the environment created by team sports is inherently collaborative. Participating in sports like soccer or basketball demands that children synchronize their actions with those of their teammates. Beyond the rudimentary need to pass a ball or to strategize collectively, these sports provide a microcosm where youngsters learn the subtleties of interpersonal dynamics, the rewards of shared triumph, and the shared introspection in defeat. These lessons extend beyond the sports field, contributing to a child’s social acumen and emotional maturity, which are vital in cooperative endeavors throughout life.

Additionally, the structured yet dynamic nature of team sports offers children a controlled setting to experience critical life skills such as compromise, communication, and collective problem-solving. For example, delegating positions and roles within a team can teach children how to appreciate individual strengths and how these can be best channeled for the group’s broader success. Moreover, coping with the ebbs and flows of a game’s fortunes fosters resilience and adaptability, further preparing them for the demands of adulthood where cooperation is often a cornerstone of success.

Nevertheless, it is essential to acknowledge that athleticism can vary widely among children, and hence, utilizing team sports as the sole medium for teaching cooperation could inadvertently marginalize the less athletically inclined. This underlines the importance of providing a diverse array of cooperative learning opportunities. Other school club activities such as the debate team, music band or drama club, group assignments in different academic subjects, or peer-to-peer tutoring programs can also play pivotal roles in teaching children to cooperate. They can cater to varied interests and talents, allowing for inclusivity in cooperative learning experiences.

Furthermore, the significance of embedding cooperation in the broader curriculum should not be diminished. Learning to work together can and should be reinforced in classroom settings, where the emphasis is often placed on individual achievement. Encouraging children to engage in collaborative academic projects can promote the essential understanding that collective effort can lead to outcomes that exceed the sum of individual contributions.

In conclusion, while I advocate for the inclusion of team sports in schools as a powerful means to teach children the essence of cooperation, I also uphold the notion that they represent just one aspect of a rich tapestry of educational experiences. A well-rounded approach, one that integrates various cooperative learning activities and infuses teamwork into the academic curriculum, would ensure that all children, regardless of their physical aptitude, have the opportunity to develop these critical life skills. Team sports may lead the charge in teaching cooperation, but they must be supplemented by other forms of collective engagement to truly promote the holistic development of every child.

Summary of the Key Improvements
1. Task Response
  • The band 8.0 essay provides a well-developed response to the prompt, presenting a clear and balanced stance. The arguments are elaborated upon with reasoning and examples, demonstrating a complete understanding of the task requirements.
2. Coherence and Cohesion
  • The use of a wider range of cohesive devices and the clear organization of ideas into well-structured paragraphs drastically improved the essay's readability and logical flow. Linking words and paragraphing are used effectively to weave the essay into a coherent whole.
3. Lexical Resource
  • A richer and more precise use of vocabulary characterizes the band 8.0 essay, indicative of a higher language level. The essay avoids repetition by synonymously varying language and expressions, pertinent to a higher IELTS band score.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy
  • There is a notable sophistication in sentence structure, adopting a diverse range of complex grammatical constructions with high accuracy. Few, if any, grammatical errors are present, which reflects the high level of proficiency expected for a band 8.0 essay.
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Task Achievement
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
6.0
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Overall Score
6.5
Sample Answer Overall Score
7.5
Summary of the Key Improvements
1. Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
2. Lexical Resource:
3. Coherence and Cohesion:
4. Task Achievement:
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Final Score From IELTS-GPT Evaluation
Overall 8.0
Task 1 8.0
Task 2 8.0
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