Advertisement

Mock Test January 2017 - Writing Practice Test 1

There is no standard answer for Writing exam so please use this as a reference

Legend:       Academic word (?)           New word


WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. 

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 2

Write about the following topic. 

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment.

What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? 

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. 

SAMPLE WRITING TASK 1

The line graph compares average yearly spending by Americans on mobile and landline phone services from 2001 to 2010.

It is clear that spending on landline phones fell steadily over the 10-year period, while mobile phone expenditure rose quickly. The year 2006 marks the point at which expenditure on mobile services overtook that for residential phone services.

In 2001, US consumers spent an average of nearly $700 on residential phone services, compared to only around $200 on cell phone services. Over the following five years, average yearly spending on landlines dropped by nearly $200. By contrast, expenditure on mobiles rose by approximately $300.

In the year 2006, the average American paid out the same amount of money on both types of phone service, spending just over $500 on each. By 2010, expenditure on mobile phones had reached around $750, while the figure for spending on residential services had fallen to just over half this amount.

(162 words, band 9)

Some paraphrasing that you could use in your introduction:
- annual expenditures = yearly spending
- cell phone services = mobile phones
- residential services = landline phones

Two possible main points for your overview / summary:
- compare the two trends over the whole period
- say what happened in 2006

Select key details:
- compare the figures for 2001
- describe the changes in expenditure over the following 5 years
- give the figures for 2006 (where the two lines meet)
- finish with a comparison of spending in 2010 

SAMPLE WRITING TASK 2

An essential element of the ecosystem is water. Water pollution occurs when harmful chemicals or microorganisms are released into water bodies, which results in the degradation of animal and human’s life quality.

The most common cause of water pollution is the direct disposal of industrial and human waste into the surface water. Another reason worth mentioning is the oil spill.Since the dawn of industrialization, numerous factories have been discharging toxic chemical compounds such as metallic sulfides or cyanides. When being introduced into lakes, rivers, and seas, these toxic wastes poison freshwater or saltwater animals and plants, subsequently destroy the ecosystem. Even when the industrial waste is buried in the ground, they can still permeate the soil to pollute the underground water, thus begin the process again.

Another cause of water pollution is human waste. Various kinds of pathogenic bacteria live in human feces, and they may cause gastrointestinal infection if they appear in the water supply. Oil spills are also the reason for sea pollution. Most of the marine animals cannot digest oil, or cleanse the spilling oil on their feathers. Therefore, they will die soon unless there are human interventions. The spill also adversely affect seawater, which damages the tourist industry of coastal regions.

To summarize, water pollution is mostly the result of oil spills and industrial or human waste disposal. It severely affects the environment and subsequently the life of animals and human.

(275 words)

(Written by Anh Tran)


Corrected essay

An essential element of the ecosystem is water. Water pollution occurs when harmful chemicals or microorganisms are released into water bodies, which results in the degradation of animal and human’s life quality.

  • An important feature in a cause-effect essay is the lack of the author’s opinion . The causes and the effects of a phenomenon are completely facts - they are not subjected to your perspective. Therefore, completely avoid using “I” or “from my opinion” in this type of essay.

  • The author has successfully written the introduction. He starts the essay with a “hook” sentence (highlighting the relevance of the topic question - water is important, so we must care about water pollution). He also provides an explanation of water pollution, as well as its effects.


The most common cause of water pollution is the direct disposal of industrial into the surface water. Since the dawn of industrialization, numerous factories have been discharging toxic chemical compounds such as metallic sulfides or cyanides. When being introduced into lakes, rivers, and seas, these toxic wastes poison animals and plants, subsequently destroy the ecosystem. Even when the industrial waste is buried in the ground, they can still permeate the soil to pollute the underground water, thus begin the process again.

  • Many grammatical structures are presented in the above paragraph.

  • The author uses the present perfect continous tense to talk about an ongoing trend.

  • The first sentence in this paragraph is a simple sentence. The second and the third are complex sentences. The last is a compound-complex one. Mixing up various sentence types will give you good mark in Grammatical Range & Accuracy.

  • The author has used some connectives: “when”, subsequently”, “even”, “thus”. Using cohesive devices without gaining unwanted attraction will raise your band score in Coherence and Cohesion.


Another cause of water pollution is human waste. Various species of pathogenic bacteria live in human feces, and they will cause gastrointestinal infection if they appear in the water supply. Saltwater fishes may die because of the depletion of oxygen levels in seawater caused by ocean dumping.

  • This body paragraph is kinda underdeveloped. There is only 3 sentences, and the last sentence does not really connect to the idea of “human waste harms the environment”. The author should write more here, since his essay only has 252 words (barely pass the requirement)

  • Still, there are some interesting vocab: pathogenic bacteria, gastrointestinal infection, water supply, the depletion of oxygen levels, ocean dumping.


The oil spill, a disaster happens if crude oil is leaked from a petroleum tanker, is also a reason of sea pollution. Most of the marine animals cannot digest oil, or cleanse the spilling oil on their feathers. Therefore, they will die soon unless there are human interventions. The spill also adversely affect seawater, which damages the tourist industry of coastal regions.

  • Throughout three paragraphs, the author has provided the effect of water pollution on both animal and human life.

  • Words like “petroleum tanker”, “marine animal”, and “human intervention” are advance enough for the IELTS exam. You don’t have to use words that are too rare or archaic.

  • Always try to shorten a clause into a phrasal noun. If the author had written like this: Therefore, they will die soon unless the government intervenes in oil spills ”, then his writing would have been less concise.


To summarize, water pollution is mostly the result of oil spills and industrial or human waste disposal. It severely affects the environment and subsequently the life of animals and human.

  • A short but adequate conclusion. Don’t spend too much time to write the introduction and/or the conclusion.


Words: 252


Overall: 9.0

  • Task Response: 8

sufficiently addresses all parts of the task (the author uses an appropriate writing style for this essay, but he needs to write slightly more).
presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas

  • Coherence and Cohesion: 9

uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
skilfully manages paragraphing (the author follows the standard format of a 5-paragraphs essay, with ideas are coherently presented)

  • Lexical Resource: 9

uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’

  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’ (there is no grammatical errors)


---------------------------------------
If you want to  correct your Wring Task 2 essay , let's view our  free service  at this link:  http://ieltsonlinetests.com/ielts-tips-and-lessons/free-ielts-writing-correction-service

Our essay correction team are so busy so it's impossible for us to give feedback to everyone. Even if we cannot mark your essay at the moment, we will do it next time if you keep writing and submitting your answer, so don't worry. Every time you submit an essay, your priority is uplifted. Every week we will randomly choose 3-4 complete essays from the group members and correct them. So make sure to finish it in time, perhaps you will be the next lucky one!

Advertisement

Other modules in this test:

Advertisement

Follow us

Latest information about IELTS

QR Code

Getting Started

More Info